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Shit Birthday Readings

 Three. THREE! Absolute garbage readings for my birthday. Fuck me. 

Shit Reading #1

Format: Last year, let go of this, gift, embrace this, next year

Last year was NOT one of joy and abundance—wtaf?? Back to back vestibular crash-outs, political chaos dismantling democratic checks and balances, ice invasion.

And I’m supposed to let go of emotional stability?? 

The GIFT of this upcoming year is exhaustion and giving up. Perfect!

I get to look forward to embracing charity I guess.

Lastly, this upcoming year will be full of mediocrity and lack of planning. SUPER.



Shit Reading #2

Format: Last year, let go of this, gift, embrace this, next year.

Last year actually was a struggle, low energy, emotional.

I’m supposed to release my vestibular recovery. I’d prefer NOT to.

My gift is routine and productivity. Work. Is my gift. 

I should embrace solitude and missing out on the fun. Yay, so glad.

I get to look forward to worry, stress, sleepless nights this year. Can’t wait.

Shit Reading #3

Format: none.

Overwhelmed by choices, indecision.

Change of fortune for the worse. 

Swings of extremes, tempers.

Restlessness, burnout, stagnation.



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